When Traveling with Kids

Traveling with Kids

 When traveling out of state, we naturally assume that we need to see our families. The truth is, we do not need to do anything unless we are wanting to. Of course, when traveling with children, we assume that visiting family would be in their best interest. However, the question begs, ‘Have I asked my children whom they want to see?’ Furthermore, is seeing our family best for our children? Meaning, are we showing up for our kids because we believe that it is the best for them without truly asking them what is best for them? I think it may be time to start listening to our kids.

What do our kids need?

When was the last time that you asked your child if they wanted to see family when traveling out of town? How many times have we made those decisions for them, even though we said that we would not? If you answered no and yes, you are not alone. Often time, parents assume that their child (children) need to see their family because it is in their best interests, or that their family needs to see them simply due to proximity issues. Simply put, this Is not the case. Children need to have their own voice and be able to make decisions such as these on their own -unless, of course, they are too young to make the choice for themselves.

Challenging Times When Visiting Family 

Many times, our family tries to guilt trip us into seeing them, spending extended time (s) with them, and forcing our children to be affectionate. If your children do not want to over-extend their family time, are not wanting to hug or kiss their family then let them be able to have agency over themselves and their bodies. We are not teaching them to be disrespectful. In fact, we are modeling for our children that not only are we a secure-enough base for them to share their feelings/thoughts, but that we are allowing them to voice their needs.

Family Final Thought 

We often feel guilty when saying no to our family. Also, we feel a sense of obligation to our family for our children to be a part of their lives. If we let our children know that it is safe to say no and that their families will not be angry at them, we are teaching them that standing up for themselves and sharing their thoughts with us is safe. Who doesn’t want their children to feel safe, heard, and loved?

Written by: Lital Diament, LMFT, MT #56973

A mom, therapist, and a traveler