Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day
When we think of Valentin’s Day, we tend to think of romance, balloons, chocolate, kisses, candy, and cupid. The very commercialized holiday capitalizes on romance and yet nobody truly discusses the dark origins of Valentine’s Day or even its effect on people’s mental health. Although no one has yet to pinpoint the exact origin of the holiday, some believe it can be traced back to ancient Rome. And with Rome, there comes violence towards and at women. Instead of focusing on the violence – let’s look at how it can affect someone’s mental health.
The Ideals of Valentine’s Day
A day like Valentine’s Day is a wonderful opportunity to look at how people are “supposed to” celebrate love, and togetherness. However, this holiday can bring about loneliness, low self-esteem, mental health flare ups, and isolation. The truth of the matter is that loneliness and isolation are not mental health problems, but it is something that many people struggle with as they try and navigate through this commercialized and business-like holiday. Many people feel as though if they do not have someone to celebrate this holiday with that their value or self-esteem will decrease (or already has).
The Reality
There are many reasons why people feel isolated, lonely and struggle. Valentine’s Day offers people ‘hope’ and ‘idealized relationships’ through social media. The reality is that this holiday does not offer an increase in self-esteem or hope. In fact, this holiday only capitalizes on your vulnerability and what you see on the ‘outside.’ Those in relationships may feel pressured to spend money that they do not have on their partner(s). People can go into debt by spending money on gifts that are too expensive and grand gestures that only reflect themselves.
How can Valentine’s Day be detrimental to your health?
As we delve into not feeling complete because you are single, or just unhappy with the grand gestures or expensive gifts; this can result in people not feeling complete without a partner, resenting the gifts, or even struggling to set boundaries around what is and what is not appropriate during this time. As a result, this day can be difficult for mental health. One of the major feelings that come up during this time is that people begin to struggle with feeling defective, unlovable, or even broken.
What can you do?
First, remember that this holiday is a marketing day – not a day to celebrate love. Whether that be self-love or love with your partner, remember that this holiday can increase your anxiety and feelings of isolation, loneliness, and importance. Begin by taking self-inventory and do things that can truly bring love into your life. This can look like self-care, therapy, spending the day by yourself, utilizing gratitude, staying humble, and staying away from the greeting cards. You are loved regardless of whether you receive chocolate, balloons, a card, or even an expensive gift that you are not even satisfied with.
For more information on how I practice self-love, please reach out!
Written by: Lital Diament BBH-LMFT-LIC-56973, a mother, wife, therapist, and someone who does not adhere to commercialized holidays