What to do when someone you love has bipolar disorder
Loving someone who suffers from bipolar disorder is one of the hardest things that one must go through. Bipolar Disorder, also known as manic depressive disorder, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in one’s mood, energy, and behaviors. While the research reports that only about 4.4% of American adults will struggle with bipolar disorder (DBSA, 2022); I am more than certain that the percentage is higher. A person who suffers from this mood disorder has difficulty in carrying out day-to-day tasks in which affects how they live, how they act, and most importantly, how they behave with loved ones. Often, loved ones are left picking up the pieces while the one suffering through depression, mania, or even a psychotic break has no idea how their illness is affecting their loved ones.
What symptoms will I notice if my loved one has bipolar disorder?
Certain symptoms (such as mania) could look like increased energy, being overly confident, speaking rapidly, getting distracted easily, rage, abusive behaviors, and engaging in riskier behavior – often, this looks like reckless spending. During the depression stage, extreme sadness, feelings of being worthless, loss of energy, and suicidal thoughts. These do not often come in one size and so the importance of educating yourself on this disorder will help you to navigate your loved one’s illness. Learning about bipolar disorder may seem overwhelming and we also must consider our loved one’s experiences. It is natural to feel resentment and anger towards the person who has this illness. Rest assured, with the proper tools and education, you can love, learn, understand, encourage, and accept what you cannot control.
What can I do?
As stated above, educate yourself and absorb any knowledge that is accessible to you. Supporting someone who is ill looks like understanding, listening, and sensitivity. Ask your partner to help create an episode plan for depression, mania, hypomania, and mixed episodes. This plan will let your partner know that you are not only helping them but that you are also equipping yourself to help them in ways in which you can lessen and decrease resentments.
Some tips for creating a plan include:
1. Discussing what your partner wants if they find themselves in an episode
2. Ask empathically what triggers them and how to avoid them
3. Request release of information to speak with their psychiatrist and therapist
4. Discuss the importance of taking medications in order to avoid an episode
5. Discuss stressors and helping them avoid or lessen them
Last and not least
Take care of yourself and set boundaries that are important for you! Loving someone with bipolar disorder is trying and it is not your responsibility for them to get better – that is their job. They must have the willingness to get help, find support, and ask for resources. Ultimately, recovery is an inside job. Since you too are coping with the effects of this disorder, remain focused on your own health and safety. Have hope. Loving someone with bipolar disorder is not a sentence. It is a chance for you to understand, hope, and have a stronger relationship.
Written by: Lital Diament, MA LMFT 96310, a mother, therapist, and someone who has experienced suffering first hand.